


Three time is a charm

by Zadaira (Dorothy90)



Series: My version of the Blood War arc [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: First Time, M/M, Mild Language, mentions of male sex, nothing explicit though, some cursing this is Ichigo we are speaking about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-10 19:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15298446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorothy90/pseuds/Zadaira
Summary: Urahara Kisuke's day takes a shocking turn. The cause? Looks like Kurosaki Ichigo fancies to change a few labels attached to his name, and considers Kisuke his partner in crime so to speak.  The consequences? Well nothing bad so far, but to be fair Isshin is blissfully unaware...





	1. The day Kisuke had was a strange one

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have a Beta for this project, so sorry for the mistakes. If anyone interested in the bigger project this story is a part of feel free to drop me a message. ^^

"If I wanted some chloroform, where would I get it? Hypothetically."

Urahara Kisuke prided himself on thinking rounds around anyone and being able to predict any possible scenario and prepare accordingly. But at this moment he was frozen, he never thought in his wildest dreams that such sentence would leave his formal pupils mouth.

"And pray tell me, what would you do with it? Hypothetically, of course." he asked the teen from behind his fan.

"Well, you see… In theory, there is this band Yuzu, and Karin wanted to see, and there is this person I wanted to meet. But Goat face…, Dad, is being his usual self…You know." Ichigo stammered out his explanation, but after a final deep breath, he came clean. "Rangiku-san promised that she would keep him occupied for a night If I get him to Soul Society. I need some space Getaboshi."

"I see. So, you plan to ambush your father who is a formal captain, mind you, then somehow - while he is still unconscious - sneak him into Soul Society. Correct?" after the affirmation, he continued. "Well, Kurosaki-san I’m really glad that you usually leave the planning to others."

"Come on Getaboshi… help us out."

After a theatrically long-suffering sigh, Urahara agreed to help but absolutely refused to give chloroform to the teen. He has some morals, thank you very much; or more like some survival instincts. However, he was intrigued, who is this mysterious person Ichigo wants to see. Last time he checked, the teen was a self-proclaimed asexual, refusing to engage with anything remotely sexual. Although he was curious, he learnt it a long time ago that it is useless to prod the other for information, he guarded his inner thoughts just as closely as Kisuke himself. So, he remained silent, and waited for the teen to confide in him or more likely hear the rumours; after all, he wasn’t a formal ommitsukido for nothing, he had eyes and ears everywhere. 

The second shock that day happened when Ichigo hugged him as thanks. Again, Ichigo tried to avoid any physical contact outside of sparring and battle, unless your height was below his waist, then you had some leniency once in every blue moon. Well, it looks like his counselling was working, how would have guessed that the little fox will be the one to help him out.

In the end, it was relatively easy to get Isshin to go to Seretei on his two feet and relatively by his own will. The formal twelfth division captain will deny any accusation that the three jugs of sake or the well-placed suggestion had anything to do with it. After informing Ichigo that operation free night is a go, he was wondering what the teen was up to. He really should stop thinking about him as a kid or teen, he is already a war veteran twice; and if old enough to die then surely old enough to fuck, drink and generally be considered as an adult. He was always an old soul after all.

~.~.~.~.~


Maybe the claims that Urahara Kisuke was any kind of genius or master of manipulation was a gross exaggerating. Because, before the day was over the substitute shinigami shocked him for the third time. 

"You want _me_ to do _what_?" the shop owner looked positively lost. "Kurosaki-san, are you all right? Did you digest any substance I should know about?"

"Hmpf. I want you to do me. Seriously, it’s not quantum physics, and as I heard you know how so… Or do you have performance issues, old man?"

"Everything works just fine, thank you very much!"

"Then what’s the problem? Last I heard you were bi, so… Or you don’t find me attractive enough?"

Okay, let’s just wait for second here. What in the name of seven hell was going on? An alternative universe is a more plausible explanation than this. Kurosaki Ichigo, current Shiba heir, saviour of every existing plain wanted to try to have sex with _him_ , formal assassin and captain, branded traitor, mad scientist, the occasional force behind the saviour. This whole thing was not adding up. Subtly he unfurled his reatsu looking for any other individual in the shoten beside himself and Ichigo. He was looking for Yourichi to jump out of nowhere and scream Aprils fool, or something. 

"It’s not about attraction, but Kurosaki-san… Ichigo, you have to understand my confusion. You blushed, stammered and outright ran whenever romantic relationship came up, not to mention anything from the sensual variety. Yet here you are, talking about sex like a seasoned lover looking for his next partner. Why now? Why me? Not that I’m not flattered, but I care about you more than just to wham, bam thanks, Ma’am." Kisuke really tried to wrap his mind around this phenomenon but failed spectacularly. 

"Fox face pointed out, that lately, I have been asking about relationships, sexuality and sex itself. That maybe I should explore my options before saying I’m this or that. He told me to find someone I trust, preferably someone more experienced, older even so if I back out they wouldn’t give me crap over it. So that’s why now and you. Now the question is what you want?"

"You trust me?"

"Well I fought on your side, you fought on mine. You needed help I was there, I needed help you were there. Well duh, of course, I trust you. Can we quit this girly crap? Seriously you behave as if you were the virgin, not me." thus, Ichigo reached the end of his short fuse. But then somehow, he understood where this newfound shyness came from. Really the fan and the hat which was pulled so far down that barely anything was visible of the grey eyes, should have been a dead giveaway. "If you dare to utter any nonsense about how you are too old, or you don’t deserve me I will beat the shit out of you. I’m not asking you to marry me, I’m just asking you to be my teacher once more."

~.~.~.~.~


__

__

Upon waking up, Kisuke found the bed beside himself empty, and for a moment he thought he had the most elaborate and bizarre wet dream of his considerable life. But after a few seconds, his other senses also woke up and he could still smell the faint scent of sex despite the open window, and he could sense the distinct reatsu signature of his partner in crime peacefully trotting around the kitchen. After he got to the there, he leant against the door, silently observing the other person preparing coffee and breakfast. Ichigo seemed content to dare he say happy even. So no regrets, that was a huge a relief.

__

" And pray to tell what are you doing out of bed? I distinctively remember I promised you breakfast in bed." Asked Kisuke, when Ichigo did not seem to be in a hurry to acknowledge the new individual in the kitchen.

__

" Threatened, you mean. You might be a genius Getaboshi, but your cooking is at best inedible and downright poisonous at worst. But you can carry it to the bed if you are hell bent on that plan of yours."

__

Yes, life was never boring in the Urahara Shouten especially when Ichigo was around. Hopefully, Isshin won’t take issue with him deflowering his son. Right, fat chance. He should probably keep Benihime close just in case.

__


	2. One of the best days of Ichigo's life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story turned into a trilogy because Ichigo was unhappy with me. He was an absolute nightmare that despite it being his birthday Kisuke stole all the spotlight. Once I started writing it, he took over completely so now I have to write the third one from Isshin's perspective. Thank you, my muse, I really love you.

Today started on the wrong note, I was barely up when Yuzu and Karin ambushed me, how Goat face was being difficult and overprotective and the usual crap any teenager thinks about their parents. I kind of understand the old man, I would love the girls to stay just that my little sisters below my waist and forever innocent. But they are not anymore. Besides Ishida and Chado mentioned that they will go to the same concert and I can always recruit them, one week of Yuzu’s cooking should do it. Or I’m positive that Getaboshi has some gadgets I can borrow. That decided, I promised the girls that I will get rid of the old man for the night. Now the question is the how. I mean, usually I’m more likely the go there and beat them kinda guy; and leave the sneaking around and planning to others. Well, Rangiku-san owns me a favour so I could get her to make sure Dad stays in Seretei, that is far enough for the girls; but how to get him there. Some kind of sleeping aids could help, but I overheard two officers of the twelfth division mentioning that most of them do not work on shinigamis. Oh well, why not go all the way, like chloroform or I can knock him out if nothing else works. So, where do I get chloroform? Of course, at my favourite shop owner slash super ninja spy, slash assassin, slash crazy scientist. Besides I want to see his face when I ask him for some. Yeah, definitely a good plan. 

So, after breakfast, I walked to the shouten, and found it uncharacteristically empty and eerily silent. Oh yes, Tessai went to visit the Kidou corps and took the kids with himself, so Kisuke can have some peace. Which means, Dad will be out of the picture, the shop is empty except its owner, and the girls will be staying at a friend’s place; so this will be a perfect opportunity. Finally found the man in question, of course, he was in his lab, so operations ‘get Kisuke to do the heavy lifting for me’ is a go. It only took like ten minutes to get him to acknowledge me - man that hurts on some level -, another ten to get his mind work in normal language, and one sentence to shut that brilliant mind of his down.

"If I wanted some chloroform, where would I get it? Hypothetically." Yep, he looks shell-shocked. I don’t think anyone left standing in there. Then slowly he started to act more like himself again, like opening that damn fan and pulling the hat down into his eyes. And from there I got what I wanted, Goat face will be taken care of without me needing to lift a finger. Sometimes it pays off to be regarded as an innocent brat because then, no one really expects you to pull any game on them. Well, this brat grew up in two wars, among countless fake and real betrays and between too many secrets; so surprise surprise, he has learnt a thing or two. But to be fair, Kisuke seemed preoccupied with something. Why not through him of the loop a little bit more, while testing the waters for my future plan, at the same time. So, as we got up and said our goodbyes, I hugged him. Not an awkward half hug and pat on his back, but a full-frontal assault with everything touching and my face in the crock of his neck. He smelled like home and felt like safety and something more, and that little something gave me all the proof I needed. So, I headed back home.

After lunch, casually - I mean as casually as I can - mentioned Dad that Urahara wanted to see him; although he looked suspicious for a second, me talking to Kisuke without any emergency prompting me to do so, thankfully he let go of it. The girls looked thoroughly pleased with themselves as the old man left the house with a merry see you later. They promised to be my slaves for the foreseeable future, but I just made them swore to be extra careful and have tons of fun. Of course, I called the boys and enlisted their help, a guy can never be too cautious. Now for my own project.

Do I really want to do this? Okay, worst case scenario I can never face Kisuke, like ever again. Huh, that would be pretty bad. Oh man, what am I doing? This is so not me. Fine, Kurosaki quit whining and get going. At first, I dropped the girls off to their friends then headed towards the shop for the second time. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that nearly ran into Dad there, but thanks to Kira-kun and Byakuya my reatsu sensing and control improved greatly in the last couple of month. Instead of potentially ruining everyone’s night in the Kurosaki household, I waited until the old man left through the senkaimon. Kisuke seemed to be a little bit taken back when I waltzed right in not two seconds later then he called me about his success. I am getting addicted to this new-found ability to rattle his composure.

He offered me tea, and I opted to do it myself. Yoruichi-san once joked how it was a favoured gag in the second that the tea of a genius is a better poison than whatever concoction they could cook up deliberately. I don’t know who the original genius was, but sure as hell, Kisuke did cement that rule. You never, ever accept a tea brewed by the eccentric man if you knew what is good for you. Once we sat down with the tea in hand, my favourite mentor could no longer contain his curiosity.

"Not that I’m complaining but to what do I owe the pleasure of your company a second time on the same day?"

Shirosaki was already cracking up inside me in anticipation for the reaction we will receive, the Old Man was merely huffing at our antics. I waited until Kisuke took a sip of his tea, just for fun and then…

"I want to have sex with you." Even if he refuses, I had an entertaining night. He was spluttering, eyes wide open, entirely beyond words or any higher brain function. Looks like I managed to shock him completely for the third time. Well, they say three time is a charm… Oh looks like he got some of his shit together… or not.

"You want _me_ to do _what_? Kurosaki-san, are you all right? Did you digest any substance I should know about?" Hah, you wish the old man. It is called hormones. What came after baffled me a little bit. I have never thought he would tackle me down and snog me like there is no tomorrow, but this, quite frankly, is a little bit discouraging. Like a blushing bride on her wedding night, he is making me chase him verbally. Don’t get me wrong I’m not against wooing him, but this is a little bit excessive even for his eccentrics. He particularly disappeared behind his fan and the rim of his hat. Come on Getaboshi, where is the confident man who outmanoeuvred Aizen and saved the ungrateful ass of the Gotei 13th on numerous occasion? Is it me wanting to have sex, or me wanting to have sex with him, that is so unbelievable? But again, it is so easy to forget that despite the genius, the strength and the determination at the end of the day he is a person who was banished from his home and condemned for the crime of someone else without a shred of suspicion. " If you dare to utter any nonsense about how you are too old, or you don’t deserve me I will beat the shit out of you. I’m not asking you to marry me, I’m just asking you to be my teacher once more." There you go, that ought to help him get back to the right mindset.

"Very well, Ichigo. So here go my terms. You have to be totally honest with me. Nevertheless, it will be uncomfortable, messy and awkward. First times are not necessarily pleasure rides. Therefore, to help you, we will use the usual colour codes, green is a go, yellow is a proceed with caution and red stop right now. It is familiar to you, you know me, and you know this place. So now take a deep breath and smile you are getting what you came for."

Finally, the intense man I had a glimpsed a few times. I have to say if I thought before I was asexual I was proven wrong beyond doubt now, I was halfway there to be painfully aroused. Kisuke discarded his fan and hat at the beginning of his speech, so I was bearing the full brunt of his grey eyes reflecting desire and care. He wants me, but he wants to take care of me first and foremost.

He was right of course, condescending bastard. It was awkward in the beginning, messy in the middle and slightly uncomfortable before the end. But like an actual scientist, he read all the signs and adjusted for the best outcome. I was safe, satisfied dare I say cherished. I wouldn’t say no for this on a more permanent base, but this is Kisuke we speak about; so no rush, I made the first move now he has the ball. For now, I’m content with him curling up behind me, having my back like usual - there is no other person I would trust with it - and I sleep like I haven’t slept ever since coming back from Seretei.

Looks like I wore the old man out since I woke up before him. I had some lingering soreness in muscles I have never used, but nothing beyond what I’m accustomed to. Sleep and the scent of sex is heavy in the air, so I opened the window before heading towards the kitchen to start breakfast. I knew the moment he woke up, his reatsu was full of confusion for a few seconds then understanding, and there it was the nervous fluttering. I busied myself with preparation and waited for him to come to me. For a few minutes, he was silently following my every move observing, gauging my mood as I did the same. After a while he seemed to find what he was looking for because he relaxed a little bit, I took a chance to look at him, he seemed content to dare I say happy. So, no regrets, that is a relief.

My life is never boring especially not when Urahara Kisuke is involved in it. I’m kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, in the form of my Dad. But for now, I’m happy to enjoy my breakfast and Kisuke. Goat face can wait a little bit more in the basement. Hopefully, strong coffee will make him more palatable amidst his hangover when he makes head or tail out of what he sensed last night…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't decided whether I want a good old goofy but reasonable Isshin or an absolute nightmare Isshin. But I guess the goofy one goes better with the overall tone of the story. Decisions, decisions. I hope you enjoyed this one as well


	3. Isshin’s night and the day after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well here is the last part. Finally, Isshin gets the stage. I'm not entirely happy with this one. Isshin is hard to write; I like Kisuke and Ichigo so much more.

If you ever asked Isshin to describe what his children meant to him in one word, he would say life, after Masaki died they were the only thing that kept him moving forward. He had to, there was no other way, and he did his best. But with a son whose power was growing day by day, rivalling of a captain at the age of fifteen, seeing ghosts, was not an easy feast. When do you tell them that you are actually not alive and the body they used to snuggle up to was in fact fake. That you are indeed a century old and you know for a fact that there are ghosts all around. They often argued about it with Masaki, but she wanted Ichigo to have a normal life, like the life they choose to live. So Isshin respected her last wish and never said anything to Ichigo. Afterwards, things happened so fast that he hardly had time to explain, he knew that he could have tried harder, but he missed those chances. Then during the war against Aizen, he was confronted with the fact that his son grew up, instead of demanding answers he was willing to wait for his goofy Dad to explain himself. Except he never did.

He will always remember the dressing down he received after the final battle with the Quinces; Urahara, Yoruichi, his cousin and grandfather all ganging up upon himself telling him how shitty father he was. He knew deep down that he failed Ichigo, and it was always easier to be a father of the twins than to his son. But when he was told that he is at least partly at fault for his son's aversion of being touched, that was a low blow. He just wanted the boy to be aware of his surroundings and hone his instincts, in case he needed it in a fight. But all he managed to do was to scar the kid for good; he might never be able to establish a physical relationship in his life. Although, both his cousin and the other kid assured him that being asexual was fine, there are many happy people out there who do not desire sex. And he would be okay with it if it was a natural development of his sexuality, but that was not the case.

He tried to sit down with Ichigo to talk about their relationship, his life and his goals, but it seemed that the kid was more comfortable with goofy Goat face than Isshin, despite all the loud protests of how annoying that side of his was. So, he played the part, because that was the only thing he could do for them. But that did not mean he was unaware of the ins and outs of his children. Like for example, when mysteriously Urahara asked to see him, and the messenger was Ichigo from all the people. It smelled funky, then a side glance at the calendar confirmed his suspicion. So, the kids teamed up to get rid of him and enlisted the help of none other but the resident genius Urahara Kisuke. Fine, if Ichigo is involved then the girls will be protected one way or another, so he played along, wrestled a hug from all of them and cheerfully bid them goodbye.

It was highly amusing to watch Urahara trying to get him drunk, while he was cheating himself, and then oh so innocently mention that Rangiku has been asking about him. "Maybe I could visit her and my old squad." Isshin offered, he was willing to leave as soon as possible. The candy store seemed to lack the other usual occupants, which meant that the scientist was having one of those rare peaceful nights. Urahara, of course, generously offered to open a gate for him which he accepted since he was supposed to be drunk already. Before he left, he felt the lingering presence of Ichigo in front of the store; maybe he was making sure that good old Dad is out of the picture for good. Message received, loud and clear, he was staying away for the night.

Rangiku was waiting for him on the other side of the gate, he let her sweat for like five minutes before reassuring her that he knows about the plot and willing to play along. They ambushed Toshirou together and dragged the young captain to a restaurant. He was proud of his second and third seat; they were doing so well; to be honest, they particularly ran the division even when he was still a captain there. They seemed to be thick as thieves despite the ever-present bickering. Toshirou reminded Isshin of Ichigo, the same potential and the same short fuse when being teased. Soon enough Rangiku was kidnapped by the other vice-captains to their little corner, while Isshin and Toshirou were joined by the other captains. Sake flew quite liberally, so soon Isshin no longer had to play the drunkard, because he was truly wasted. For the night he was not the exiled ex-captain or the father of the saviour, but just a comrade out on a Friday night.

However, like anything good, it had to come to an end. In his inebriated state, he was no longer able to hide his reatsu and looked like his grandfather took issue with him not saying hello at least. And hell hails no furry like the old man, especially since Isshin had already been on his shit list for keeping his great-grandchildren from him. So Isshin made the only sane choice he had and fled the scene of the crime, hastily opening a gate back to the candy store. The first shock barely over, he fell to his knees under the pressure of the combined reatsu of Urahara and Ichigo. Isshin was having trouble at first with connecting the dots: both reatsu were heavy with lust and pleasure, and that level of intermingling happened only during sex.

Wait. What? His son supposed to be asexual. Well apparently, not. Damn their reatsu was suffocating. Slightly soberer he threw up a protective barrier hoping that Urahara did the same before all that. Otherwise, they will be facing a nasty case of hollow invasion. That would be a lovely case to explain to Soul Society. Since he was not as shitty father as everyone wanted to believe, he decided to stay in the underground training area and not ruining the entire conspiracy his children cooked up. He was curious, though, how Ichigo ended up in the blond shinigami's bed. But that would be a story for the next day. Oh, he will have some fun at their expense.

Next day he woke up to a headache and a sore back, he was way too old for this. Next time he will just give in to children in the first place and stay safely home in his own nice bed, thank you very much. The only thing that brightened his morning was the scene he was about to make. Engetsu in hand, reatsu tightly wound around his body; he took a deep breath and threw open the shoji to the bedroom, where Ichigo and Kisuke were having breakfast.

"You fricking cradle robber. Trust me with your son, he said. I will make sure he is safe, he said. I trusted you god damn it. And the first thing you do is seducing my beautiful and innocent child. I will have your head for this." Maybe the beautiful and innocent was a little bit of overstretching but Kisuke seemed thoroughly scolded and a little bit fearful. Meanwhile, Ichigo was working up quite a reatsu storm.

"Isshin can we please talk this through calmly, like adults?" Kisuke pleaded with the other shinigami "Let's move to the kitchen and sit down."

"I don’t think we have anything to talk about." He sized up Ichigo’s arm and dragged his son to his feet and started out of the room.

"Oi! Goat face, get your hands off me. I’m already over the age so stop kicking up a fuss and calm the fuck down before I beat you." Ichigo in his rage did not notice that they were actually in the kitchen until Isshin unceremoniously dumped him onto one of the sitting pillows.

"I hope to God that you made the coffee because the cradle robber over there could only brew poison on his good days."

"Yes, I made the coffee. Wait, what?! Goat face what are you doing?" shirked a confused Ichigo.

"Could you lower your voice, some of us are nursing a hangover here. I’m about to have a coffee with my son and his child molesting lover." Isshin sat down on the other side of the table, immensely amused by the stunned face of his son and the blond. They were having major problems making head or tail out of his behaviour.

"Must you keep calling me all those names?" Kisuke was inquiring; he seemed to be catching on that Isshin was not planning to repaint the shop with his blood.

"Well, you fucked my son, so… name calling is the least you have to endure."

"What the hell Goat face, what was that entrance before in the bedroom then?"

"You tried to play a game behind my back, so I guess that was the payback for having to sleep on the hard floor instead of my own bed."

"So, you are fine? We are fine?" clarified Kisuke.

"No, I’m not fine, but we are okay I guess. I mean I was never a kind of guy to intervene when it came to Ichigo. Besides, the kid is more than capable of handing you your ass if warranted. So, my guess is that this was his idea." Then Isshin addressed his son "Come, let’s collect the girls, I’m dying to hear how their first night sneaking behind my back was."

"Since when did you know?" blinked Ichigo, still mostly confused.

"Since you were born." Came the typical Isshin answer. Seemingly done with the conversation and his coffee, he headed towards the entrance. Kisuke escorted the dazed substitute shinigami and his father out of the shop staying there until he could see no more of them.

"Well, that went well. One more typically insane day at the Urahara shouten."

"Oh, you have no idea how insane it's going to be." Kisuke only just noticed the angry Yoruichi standing behind him. He was really getting old; people were sneaking up on him and shocking him left and right. And to think that his only plan involved some sake and moon gazing for the previous night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a happy note, I started writing the very explicit hopefull hot as hell story of how the night went down. I'm over two thousand words, and the night bearly started. So if you are into that, look out, some delicious lemony goodness is on the way.

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is. Later I might add smut and raise the rating, or add a second chapter about Isshin's reaction. This story eventually will be part of a bigger project, but I need time for that to happen, so for now hopefully, it can stand on his own.


End file.
